Prepare Yourselves for the Greatest Creature Feature of All Time!
Forget everything you thought you knew about cryptids, comedy, and filmmaking. Jared Masters, the mad genius behind Slink is back, and he’s not just breaking boundaries – he’s obliterating them with a Sasquatch-sized sledgehammer!
Bigfoot Breeds isn’t just a movie; it’s a cinematic event that will redefine the horror-comedy genre. We’re talking groundbreaking special effects (mostly practical, because we’re not cowards!), a script so sharp it could shave a yeti, and performances that will make you question your sanity (in the best possible way, of course). This isn’t your grandma’s cozy, family-friendly Bigfoot flick. Oh no. This is the kind of movie that will have you simultaneously clutching your pearls and spilling your popcorn from laughter.
Why Your Money Will Make Movie History (Probably)
You want to be part of history, don’t you? You want to tell your grandkids, “I helped unleash Bigfoot’s reproductive exploits on an unsuspecting world!” This isn’t just about throwing money at a film; it’s about investing in a legacy. A legacy of cinematic gold. A legacy of belly laughs and genuine screams.
We’re not just making a movie; we’re crafting a masterpiece. A masterpiece so profound, so utterly ridiculous, and so undeniably entertaining that it will be spoken of in hushed, reverent tones for generations. Or at least until the next equally insane Jared Masters project comes along.
So, if you’re tired of the same old predictable Hollywood schlock and crave a cinematic experience that’s truly, utterly, gloriously bonkers, then join the Bigfoot Breeds movement! Your generous contributions will help us secure more fake fur, more squibs, and more… well, you’ll just have to wait and see what else Bigfoot gets up to.
Pick your perks and contribute now, because your eyeballs deserve this. And honestly, who wouldn’t want to be involved in a film called Bigfoot Breeds? It just sounds like a good time, doesn’t it?
Help get this creature feature made. Spread the word and Contribute Now!
