“Crammed Full Of Talking Parasites, Gun-Toting Furries, Drug Kingpins, Mini-Car Chases, Murderous Old Ladies, Pizza, An Apocalypse, And True Love!…”

Absolute Unit is a dark carnival ride through the underside of the American Dream, where hustlers and parasites fight to survive against gun-toting furries, sarcastic drug kingpins, old ladies who are startlingly good with knives, and angry ex-girlfriends. It’s a hardboiled slice of modern American horror that asks the deepest question of all: Is the human race worth saving?

Bill is a nobody, a health inspector who’s not above taking a few dollars to overlook a restaurant’s mouse problem, and hated by nearly everyone except his long-suffering girlfriend. His nephew, Trent, isn’t much better: sexually and morally confused, he’s probably the worst teenage con artist on the East Coast. But today, these two losers are going to become the most important people in the world.

That’s because Bill and Trent harbor a sentient parasite with a sarcastic sense of humor and a ravenous appetite. As the parasite figures out how to control its new human hosts, the focus of its desires grows from delicious cheeseburgers and beer to something much darker and more dangerous.

The apocalypse might come from within us…

Action-packed, gory, and hilarious. I loved it!”—Michelle Garza

“[This] bizarro crime horror story is a friggin’ blast, packed chock full of comedy, outrageousness, and violence.”—Michael Patrick Hicks, author of The Resurrectionists

“…takes the basic concept of a thriller, dials up the body horror, and puts a blackly comedic twist on the whole thing, the end result being uniquely entertaining and gleefully bonkers.”— Richard Martin, Horror Oasis

“Absolute Unit is a kick in the groin to all those who hold “traditional values” dear. It is the American nightmare made flesh with all the hidden seediness and sordid behavior of a rotten and decayed culture placed front and center for your reading pleasure. It’s a nasty, dirty read, and I couldn’t put it down.”—Rex Hurst, author of What Hell May Come

“Absolute Unit is an absolute blast. Kolakowski has crafted something genuinely exceptional and completely entertaining. It may be a little odd, but it is a lot of fun and I can’t imagine any horror fan, no matter what your personal genre preference may be, not having a great time with this book. I can safely say that if you only intend to read one book starring a sarcastic parasite this year, I highly recommend making it this one.” — Richard Martin, Horror Oasis

Horror fans…get your copy today at:

Also available at:

Amazon UK     Amazon CA

Crystal Lake Publishing     Goodreads

More about ‘Absolute Unit’ in this short author interview:

-What makes this horror novella so special?

“This novella is a mash-up of horror, crime fiction, and humor that has something to say about our post-pandemic world. It’s crammed full of talking parasites, gun-toting furries, drug kingpins, mini-car chases, murderous old ladies, pizza, an apocalypse, and true love!”

-Tell us more about your lead character.

“The lead character isn’t human at all! It’s a super-intelligent, super-sarcastic parasite who initially wants to have fun, but then decides to conquer the world. So, basically John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’ if the creature had a sense of humor, or a tapeworm if it read too much Camus.”

-Why should readers give this book or your work a try?

“I guarantee this is the most unique book you’ll read this month. It takes modern American horror in unexpected directions; it has crime-thriller elements used in ways you’ve never seen. It’ll make you laugh… and it will make you shiver in fear for the human race.”

About author Nick Kolakowski

Nick Kolakowski’s work has appeared in The Washington Post, McSweeney’s, Washington City Paper, Playboy, LOST magazine, Trader Monthly, WebMD, and eWeek, among other venues. He lives in Brooklyn, NY.

Please follow him on Twitter and “Like” his Facebook page!

About Crystal Lake Publishing

Since its founding in August 2012, Crystal Lake Publishing has quickly become one of the world’s leading publishers of Dark Fiction and Horror books in print, eBook, and audio formats.

While we strive to present only the highest quality fiction and entertainment, we also endeavour to support authors along their writing journey. We offer our time and experience in non-fiction projects, as well as author mentoring and services, at competitive prices.

With several Bram Stoker Award wins (including the HWA’s Specialty Press Award) and many other wins and nominations, Crystal Lake Publishing puts integrity, honor, and respect at the forefront of our publishing operations.

We strive for each book and outreach program we spearhead to not only entertain and touch or comment on issues that affect our readers, but also to strengthen and support the Dark Fiction field and its authors…

More information at:


And don’t forget to follow them on Twitter and Instagram, “Like” their Facebook page, and check out their Linktree!

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